Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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