Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize