i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
