Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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