We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
