I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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