I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Still dying that you shit outside
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
