i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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