FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
