I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
