I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
