I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
