Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
