When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
third nipple confirmed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
