That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
