Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
