she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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