Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
