wanna go halves on a baby?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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