wanna go halves on a baby?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
