You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
