I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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