I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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