I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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