Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
