my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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