yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
