My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
