im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
