for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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