Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My friends, they love my intelligence
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
