so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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