spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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