i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
