i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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