im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Holy sore nipples Batman
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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