omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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