hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm too high and old for this...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
