my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
