NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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