she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
