Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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