U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
