Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I smell like Dick and happiness
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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