You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
