Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
