Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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