cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
