I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize