Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
