yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
