I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
