would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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