$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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