sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
