The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
