I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
