she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
