Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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